Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ashamed, child sex abuse, child sexual abuse, computer virus, shame
Yesterday, my computer caught a virus. I called my husband, and he tried to help me deal with it over the phone, but there wasn’t much he could do. I got off the phone with him, began to have anxiety and panic, and ran down the stairs.
When my husband got home, we both went upstairs together. I told him I hadn’t been upstairs since the virus thing happened. He asked why, and I said because I got scared. He said “Why did you get scared of the bedroom just because the computer got a virus?”
And then I immediately felt embarrassed. I feel ashamed whenever this sort of thing happens. Why would a person feel afraid that their computer got a virus? I don’t know. For me, it was because I felt violated suddenly. Like someone was watching me. Someone invaded my computer, invaded me. Someone put something evil out there in the world, a computer virus, whose only intention was to hurt someone else’s computer. And it scared me enough to run away. To run away in a way I couldn’t when I was a little girl.
This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids. We get viruses in our computers and become afraid of the room our computers are in and then feel ashamed about that fear.
