Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

As you may know, I love that show Dancing with the Stars. When I was watching it this season, it occurred to me that maybe the huz and I should take ballroom dance lessons. I suggested it to the huz as an alternative to marital therapy. I have had enough of the marital therapy for now. And I figure that dance lessons are cheaper than therapy, and if they don’t work (in terms of getting us to have sex with each other), then we can always try marital therapy again.

So, about three weeks ago, I called a local place and made an appointment for last night. When yesterday came, I called the huz at work a few times and said I didn’t want to go. He talked me into keeping the appointment at every call. Then he came home and I said I didn’t want to go. He said “Why don’t we think this through. What exactly about this appointment is making you nervous?”

I said “Well, I think the instructor is male and he might touch me to show me a dance move. They do that on Dancing with the Stars.” The huz said “Oh. I think I understand now.” We talked through it though, and we went to the dance lesson anyway. We had a really wonderful time. It took us both out of our comfort zone, and that was a good thing for us.

By the time we got the appointment, my stomach was in knots and hurting terribly. This has been happening to me lately whenever I get nervous.

It’s a dance lesson. A dance lesson. People consider these things to be fun. But the idea that this instructor might touch me was enough to send me into panic and almost cancel this fun. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.