Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #7: We Get REALLY Scared of Bugs
September 10, 2008, 12:17 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , ,

Yesterday, I saw a spider come down in the bathroom.  I immediately called the exterminator. My fear of bugs isn’t the normal ‘girly’ fear of insects.  I take it to a whole new level, thanks to panic disorder resulting from the trauma of surviving child sexual abuse.  So, when I see a spider, my reaction is to start shaking uncontrollably and hold my breath until I can reasonably think of something to do.  Then, with shaky hands, I reach out and kill the spider out of fear.  I take the life of the spider because I am so afraid of it, and then I feel guilty about it.  Frankly, just writing about that spider right now is causing me to breathe irregularly.

I don’t like things touching me without my permission. The thing is, something, someone, did touch me without my permission.  Hands on me, eyes looking at me, tongues touching me.  I don’t want some spider touching me without my permission too.  I decide what touches me now.

This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.  We get all fucked up about things touching us, and it translates to everything.  Even bugs.  And humans.  My own husband couldn’t touch me for like the first two years we were dating. And the fucking exterminator is going to cost me $250.

6 Comments so far
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[…] trying to detect the slightest trace of insect. The idea that I might have to go to sleep with a bug in the bed is just too much for me. The idea that it could touch me without my knowledge or […]

Pingback by Reason #31: Bugs Revisited « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

[…] intimate understanding of what happens when we let our guard down. I revisited that in Reason 13. Fear of bugs was reason # 7, and I came back to it again in Reason 31. Fear is a common theme throughout this […]

Pingback by 35 Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids: 2008 in Review « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

So weird because today I was laying in bed, reading, and saw an insect on the ceiling. Got up to see it and it was a small spider. I hate the idea of a spider over my bed because one could do that and then drop down onto me, though that has never happened, that is my fear, so I can relate to your not wanting something to touch you unwanted. I just had to get up and get rid of it. Otherwise I worry about that one spider coming back a few hours later. Normally I am okay with spiders, just can’t stand any on the ceiling over my bed.

I think it is a good thing that we can decide whta touching us or not.


Comment by kate1975

[…] ant.  As my regular readers know, I am terrified of bugs.  Being afraid of bug was actually Reason #7 on this blog of fucked up shit that happens to us when we get fucked as […]

Pingback by Reason #183: It already did hurt me « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

you are the first one to explain to me my horrible phobia of spiders, i don’t like things unexpectedly touching or crawling on me…the web make me feel caught…stuck.

Comment by buckwheatsrisk

it is also the reason i can’t sleep without a pillow over my head…it just dawned on me..

Comment by buckwheatsrisk

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