Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #13: OCD revisited: It’s A Numbers Thing
October 3, 2008, 12:46 pm
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This post was originally going to be about panic, but because it is #13, I got all OCD about it, and now it is going to be about having a numbers thing.

I have always considered 13 a lucky number.  Many people consider it a bad number, but I don’t.  My beloved grandfather was born on the 13th.  Friday the 13th no less.

But the number got me thinking.  I have a numbers thing, and I know it is an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder thing. My mom once attended a conference about survivors of child sexual abuse, and while she was there she found out that a lot of survivors tend to have obsessive compulsive behaviors. She came home and said “You don’t have that, right sweetie?” And I said, “No. Not really. Well, I do kiss my Jewish star 18 times, but that’s not really my fault. I started kissing it only once, when I was scared about things, but then I thought that it deserved more kisses. So I started kissing it more, but I never liked the number it ended on. Then I would keep kissing until I got to 18, and that way it’s okay. And plus I lock my door 3 times, and check it 3 times, but then I don’t like the number that comes out to, so I do it a few more times, in case G-d is counting it from the times I lock it or the times I check it or both, so that no math that comes from it adds up to six.” By this point, Mom was staring at me, with her jaw agape. She said, “Oh sweetie” in such a way that I knew that she was thinking I did have this OCD thing. I had never thought that I did until then, and I realized “Fuck, I do have that.”

I once heard that Roseanne (an incest survivor herself) has a numbers thing too. She has to shut her stove off five times. She will shut it off once, and then again a second time. Then she says “Well, the kids are in the house, might as well check.” So then she shuts it off again, and then a fourth time. At this point, it is killing her not to do it a fifth time, so she is like “fuck it” and shuts the fucking oven off a fifth time. When I heard her talk about this (in a comedy special), my first thought was “Thank goodness I am not alone.” My second thought was “I would never pick the number five”, and then I thought about how interesting it is that we all have different fucking numbers.

You’d think that shit would have gotten better for me over time, but instead it just gets worse as I find new things to be obsessive and compulsive about. Like the shit with my right arm and right foot and what not. I learned once that unless you agressively attack the thought processes (like with a trained mental health professional) that are causing the OCD behaviors, it will only get worse. And that is exactly what is happening to me. Why would it get better on its own? I mean, nothing is happening to make it better on its own. You’d think that one false action would disprove shit (i.e., counting something to the wrong number of times, and things not turning to shit afterwards). But instead of disproving shit, I chalk it up to that time being missed by the universe or whatever, and they are really waiting to get me on the next one.

This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids. We get afraid of angering the whole fucking universe by counting the wrong number of times. I mean, come on, that’s fucked up.


7 Comments so far
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[…] Or maybe it’s a negative thing, like I will be in therapy for the rest of my life. Aaaah, numbers. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Why I dislike psychotherapyOther people’s […]

Pingback by Reason #18: Therapy « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

[…] now have an intimate understanding of what happens when we let our guard down. I revisited that in Reason 13. Fear of bugs was reason # 7, and I came back to it again in Reason 31. Fear is a common theme […]

Pingback by 35 Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids: 2008 in Review « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

I was sitting here waiting to leave for my 2 MRI’s and I was reading wayyy back here in your blog and I have to say OMG, you have a numbers thing too? I do!!! I count numbers in a sentence to see if they are even or odd, if it’s odd, I try to figure out what I could add to it to make it even. I count the number of ice cubes that go in my PLASTIC (won’t drink out of glass) cups, it has to be either 4 or 6, no more, no less. I loved math all my life as well, and was a math whiz. It’s so wild to know someone else does the numbers thing too. Yet another thing we have in common! By the way…my lucky number is 13 as well!

Comment by murderousthoughts

[…] fucking handle it and had to change the whole thing. As I have mentioned before in this blog, I have OCD with numbers. I can’t deal with the number six, because apparently when you have three of them in a row, […]

Pingback by Reason #67: We Fuck With Our Own Blog Numbers « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Thirteen is a very scary number for me, so I guess I have the numbers thing too. It has gotten worse over the last few years. I read lots of books and even if I need to, I hate to stop reading on a page with the number 13 in it.

I had a teacher last summer who had a phobia about 13 amd pme c;ass was pm that date, he said all kinds of bad things had happened to him at school that day.

I had worse ocd things when I was a child, so I do think that they have gotten better. But I have done a lot of therapy and think that is why, and being safe from abusers in my family brought down the level of my fears and anxieties. ocd issues for me have always been a way to manage my fears and anxieties.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

[…] adulthood. I still have all those coping mechanisms and I have added some over the years.  Like my OCD rituals, or deciding people are good or bad based on their names. Or adding layers of fat onto my body to […]

Pingback by Reason #291: Creating safety « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

i am always counting by 2’s in my head and when i count i have to finish on an even number or i can’t stand it, does that count? no pun intended..

Comment by buckwheatsrisk




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