Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #25: Sex
November 21, 2008, 6:27 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

The other day, some friends and I were talking about sex. My friend said “I need to get laid.” I thought to myself, ‘I wonder what that is like, the wanting of sex because sex is an enjoyable experience.” When I want sex with the huz, it’s because I think we are supposed to be having sex, because that’s what people who are in love do.

I get the feeling from friends and media that sex is an enjoyable experience, and that it probably feels good. For me, it’s mired in my childhood experiences where sexuality was forced upon me.

Sometimes, my husband and I are in situations where we can’t have sex (like when my mom’s in the next room). During those times, I always get very lusty with my husband. One time, my husband said “You only want to come onto me at times when you know it is safe, because you know there will be no follow through of actual sex.” I thought about it, and he was right. It wasn’t a conscious thing for me. But I bet those moments are what it feels like for normal people during all hours, not just safe hours.

This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids. We grow up and lose out on healthy enjoyable sex lives, which I hear is a great thing for normal people.

5 Comments so far
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Hey Butterfly,
I used to find excuses not to have sex too. For years. I also had sex I didn’t want because I felt it was necessary to keep the relationship. Now I don’t have sex that often (old married couple), but I do have it with my beloved and do enjoy it. It seemed like after I’d cleared out and grieved enough gunk, the sexuality sprung back or healed or something, and things got easier on their own. I’m telling you this not to gloat or brag or anything, but as one survivor to another in case you (or the huz) might find it hopeful.

By the way, I know this isn’t a very common view among straight people, but I don’t think it has to be intercourse to count as making love, so if you’re able to be lusty when you know you can’t ‘go all the way’ maybe there are things you can do happily that work for both you and the huz. Not trying to be intrusive, hope this isn’t offensive, but just saying, ’cause survivors don’t get to talk to one another about what works and what doesn’t that often.

Comment by sworddancewarrior

[…] second reason dealt with sex, and it was something I dealt with in Reasons 9, 20, 23, 25, and 33. Six times this sex thing has fucked me up in adulthood due to the sex thing fucking me up […]

Pingback by 35 Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids: 2008 in Review « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

I am very comfortable with sex that doesn’t need to go all the way as well. I think that is all I would be capable of right now, if I found someone, until we made a commitment to one another. Being a survivor robs you of a lot. And it takes a lot of work to steal it back.

Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

[…] latter. I married a man who doesn’t want sex. I know I have spoken before about the fact that we hardly ever fuck each other, but usually it was because of me that we weren’t fucking each […]

Pingback by Reason #137: My Sexless Marriage « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

oh my goodness this one made me cry. i felt alone in feeling that way. it is the exact same for me, the lusty when it is safe, and no desire when it is not, and i do it just because that is what married couples should do..i long to know what wanting it feels like…and long to not have flashbacks…thank you for writing this.

Comment by buckwheatsrisk

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