Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #33: Realizations about Sex
December 27, 2008, 1:25 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

I mentioned before that I used to be in gay relationships. My first gay relationship lasted for two and a half years, and we were completely in love with each other. One of the reasons I fell for her was because she was a survivor of incest and child sex abuse, like me.

She used to work a night job as a security guard. She would get off of work around 2 or 3AM. Sometimes 4AM. One night I waited up for her. I dressed up in some pretty lingerie and lit some candles and had some music playing. I heard the front door open, and then she walked into our bedroom. I stood there, dressed like that, and she said “I’m hungry” and walked out of the room to go get some food.

That was about 10 years ago. I just realized this morning that her reaction to my being so overtly sexual was to run away, much like I do and have always done when I am on the receiving end of such advances. I used to marvel about how she was so okay with sex, how the sex abuse didn’t seem to affect her, but now that I think about it, she had her effects too. She could only sleep facing the outside of the bed, never with her back to the outside of the bed.

Now that I am married and not having any sex, I have lots of time to think about this stuff. 🙂 With my lover though, it wasn’t that she didn’t want to have sex with me that night, it’s that the prospect of someone being so wanting of her and her body was scary to her. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


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[…] second reason dealt with sex, and it was something I dealt with in Reasons 9, 20, 23, 25, and 33. Six times this sex thing has fucked me up in adulthood due to the sex thing fucking me up in […]

Pingback by 35 Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids: 2008 in Review « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

I can well relate to her urge and need to run. I’ve done a lot of metaphorical running in my life.

Though I’m sorry for the rejection and pain that moment caused you.

Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975




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