Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #41: Who is that babysitter?
January 22, 2009, 11:39 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

I used to be in a panic group. Apparently when one survives child sex abuse, one gets panicked for the rest of their life. (One of the many reasons you shouldn’t fuck kids, by the way.) Anyway, so I was in that group, and when I discovered (at 21 years old or so) that a babysitter molested my brother and I (when I was less than five years old), I became enraged. And obsessed. Who was she? Did my mom leave and she right away fucked us? Or did she wait a few minutes and gain our trust before she violated us?

What did she look like? What was her name? Who was this woman that in the blink of an eye shattered all my future trust in humanity?

It’s pretty unusual to have a female perpetrator. Here’s how it breaks down. Men like to fuck little girls first. Men like to fuck little boys second. Then women like to fuck little boys. Lastly, women like to fuck little girls. I was one of those little girls, in that statistical minority. Was it chance that she came into our life? I don’t know? Was it fate? Again, don’t know.

Here’s what I do know. I know she was a teenager. Let me think – that was in the late 70’s, so about 30 years ago. So, if she was 16 in the late 70’s, that would put her at about 46 or so now. Shit, for all I know, she could be a reader of this blog.

My group said “You’re wasting your time trying to figure out who she is. You need to concentrate on your life now.” Fuck that, I say. Whoever she is, she holds the key to my healing. I have to know who she is, and why she did this to me. Was she a pedophile? Was she a victim herself? Is she still fucking kids??

The logical part of me says that she was obviously a victim of abuse. Someone fucked her, and then she fucked us. And now I spend the rest of my life wondering who she is and why she did this to us.

This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hi Butterfly,

I think the current estimates on female perpetrators is that they are about 5% of all sexual offenders. It may be higher.

I understand about you wanting to know and find out about her. I would want to as well. Even if I didn’t find anything out, but just tried to, I think that would help me feel more empowered about my life.

Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

[…] so I was staring at her, trying to figure it out. I thought about it. Maybe she reminds me of the babysitter? I have no conscious memory of that babysitter, but maybe she reminds me of her? I thought about it […]

Pingback by Reason #84: She could be HER « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids




Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: