Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #42: Star Trek (The Next Generation)
January 24, 2009, 1:06 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , ,

A few years ago, I was over at my aunt’s house and we were watching an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (the one with Jean-Luc Picard and Whoopi Goldberg). In that episode, some of the characters somehow had their age regressed until they were all children again. They kind of knew they were still adults, but they were in children’s bodies, and kind of acted like kids too.

So I saw this, and I started thinking to myself “What would happen if such a thing really happened here on Earth, where we were regressed to be kids again?” And that is when I couldn’t breathe. I literally had a fucking panic attack because of this episode of Star Trek.

I know what you’re thinking – ‘it’s ‘cuz she was molested’. And you would be absolutely right in thinking that. It was because I was molested. And of course, this is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

But even when thinking about it – even if I hadn’t ever been molested -even if my childhood had been ‘normal’ – even that thought gives me panic. If I had to regress back to normal childhood, I would still be horrified and panicked at the thought. I mean, think about it, childhood fucking SUCKS. You are constantly at the mercy of people who are bigger than you, who only let you do what you want to do when they agree to it, who tell you when and where to do the most basic of things, like sleeping. And even eating.

When I had that panic attack, I had to explain to my aunt why I was panicking. She said “Well, of course, you had a shit childhood.” And I thought about it, and maybe she was right, but I think childhood is shit anyway. Think about it – would you ever, ever choose childhood again?? I am panicking again at the thought.

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Ack, I am sorry that you had that panic attack. I can’t watch ANY James Bond movie, it will set me off for sure. The other man who was molesting me when I was young, was watching James Bond the first time he hurt me, one night when I had stayed over with one of his sons. The molestation ended up lasting 6 years *SIGH*, so I was being raped by a neighborhood man AND “Dad” at the same time. I felt I had no safe place. It’s amazing how the smallest things can set us off. It’s so very sad. Thank you for the birthday wishes!! *hugs*

Comment by V

Hi Butterfly,

I agree with you. Before I really started healing I would say to everyone and practically anyone that I would rather burn in hell for all eternity than live my childhood all over again. And I have a horrible fear of hell, thanks to my abusers.

That much fragility and vulnerability, I just couldn’t do it again. I think being a child is true bravery.

Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

[…] Thank G-d.  Thank G-d. But I am realizing that I am still damaged goods.  It is apparent in every panic attack, and every bug sighting, and every fearful thought that I have to quelch in order to live.  That […]

Pingback by Reason #186: Damaged Goods « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

I love Kate’s statement that being a child is true bravery.

Childhood from the perspective of an adult is fraught with worry of things that shouldn’t happen. From a baby’s point of view, all forms of love are bravely collected, remembered, and learned.

I love Star Trek. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this post, Butterfly.

Comment by sandma1half

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