Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #47: Trust
February 9, 2009, 3:53 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

The huz and I went to our first couples counseling session today. (Because we have no sex.)

She asked us a question that went something like this: “If you both woke up tomorrow and the problem was gone, what would that feel like? What would that like?”

I wanted to answer “We’d be fucking each other too much to see what it looks like.” But I didn’t say that. I said “We’d be having sex. We’d have intimacy.” Then I looked at the huz and said “I’d feel connected and close to you. And I would fully trust you.”

My history of sex abuse came up in session. The therapist said “Earlier in the session, you mentioned trust issues with your husband. The sex abuse is mega big when it comes to trust.”

When she said that, in my head I said ‘and that is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.” We totally lose our ability to trust.


6 Comments so far
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Hang in there, butterfly. My spouse and I have been for three bouts of couple counselling over the years. It was worth every minute and penny. There’s something about getting through this stuff together than made for a deeper, better marriage.

Comment by sworddancewarrior

^^ Exactly. Getting through it together *will* make you stronger. I think it’s wonderful that you and your husband have chosen therapy over becoming apathetic and letting things fester. The willingness to get counseling is a sign of the strength of your marriage, and in a way is the blossoming of trust. You’re trusting each other enough to say “this is how I feel”. It open up your vulnerabilities.

Many men (and women) are adamantly opposed to counseling for whatever reason –afraid to face the pain, afraid they’ll be judged or blamed, etc.

You two being there speaks volumes. Even when it gets hard, maintain and regroup, and keep fighting for each other.

Comment by All Time Love

Yeah. We do. Sigh.

Comment by Katherine Gunn

[…] Reason #47: Trust […]

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[…] Reason #47: Trust […]

Pingback by Reason #50: The new therapist and the dog « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Trust is so hard. Good and healing thoughts to you both.

Kate

Comment by kate1975




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