Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #68: Dancing With The Stars
April 2, 2009, 9:10 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , ,

Sometimes I think this blog more closely resembles my tv watching habits, rather than a litany of reasons that my life has been fucked up by my history of child sexual abuse. Stay with me anyway on this one, I’ll show you where I’m going.

So, I was watching Dancing with the Stars the other day. Do any of you watch that show too? The huz won’t watch that one with me, although he loves many other reality shows like American Idol and Survivor.

Anyway, I was watching the show, and one of the male “stars” had a difficult time performing a dance move because it involved him almost falling on his head. He had a serious phobia of falling on his head because one time when he was playing basketball, he fell on his head and this experience scared the shit out of him. His partner finally had to change the dance routine because he was so afraid of this particular move. When the host of the show needled him about it, he said “What is wrong with being afraid of falling on your head?”

I thought about his reaction to the host’s jokes. He didn’t feel like he had to defend his fear. No, instead he pretty much attacked the host for being stupid about not being afraid of falling on his head.

I wish all of us trauma survivors acted this way when we felt embarassed about the shit that we do as a result of surviving our abuse. I mean, like how this whole week I have been embarrassed about being afraid to be alone while the huz goes on a business trip. When I was a child, people did things to my body. Against my will, if I was allowed to have a will, which for the most part I wasn’t. But instead of owning my fear and being like that Dancing with the Stars guy and saying “What exactly is wrong with being afraid of being in the same situation I was in with three different people when I was a child and they were abusing me?”, I said “This whole thing is humiliating. My reaction to this situation is humiliating.”

The difference is that everyone understands when he says he was playing basketball and he fell on his head and now he is afraid of falling on his head. If I said “A babysitter fucked my brother and I, and then my brother molested me, and then my father molested me, and now I am afraid to be alone”, everyone would stare at me the same way they do when I say the word “fuck” in mixed company.

Of course, I wouldn’t be afraid to be alone in the first place and subsequently humiliated by my fear of being alone had these people in my life not molested me, and this is why you shouldn’t fuck kids. I shouldn’t need some Dancing with the Stars guy to inadvertantly validate my fears and phobias. I shouldn’t have these fears and phobias in the first place. I should just be able to watch a nice show with some beautiful dancing in it, and think that’s all there is to know while watching tv.


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You’re great! I love how you give these concrete examples for things.

Comment by sworddancewarrior

Hi,

This is a metaphor that will stay with me a long time. Thanks so much for this and for all your words, they help.

“the show needled him about it, he said “What is wrong with being afraid of falling on your head?”

I thought about his reaction to the host’s jokes. He didn’t feel like he had to defend his fear. No, instead he pretty much attacked the host for being stupid about not being afraid of falling on his head.”

I only wish that more people were able to say what is wrong… Thanks so much for sharing this. I don’t watch the show, so wouldn’t have gotten the healing lesson.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

[…] Dancing with the Stars, panic, survivor of childhood sexual abuse As you may know, I love that show Dancing with the Stars. When I was watching it this season, it occurred to me that maybe the huz and I should take […]

Pingback by Reason #100: Ballroom Dance Lessons « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids




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