Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #81: Bordering on Ridiculous
April 25, 2009, 12:54 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

Last night, the huz and I were going to bed, and I asked him to check in the closets and under the bed and in the closets behind our bed too. Then I asked him to fix the covers so that they were ‘right’, which may be one of my obsessive-compulsive things. Then I asked him to make sure the door was locked. He got pissed then and said “You know, your bedtime needs are bordering on ridiculous!”

I know they are ridiculous. All of this is ridiculous if you look at it through that sort of lens. I mean, really, keeping a blog of reasons why you shouldn’t fuck kids is ridiculous too. The only people that don’t know why you shouldn’t fuck kids are the people that are fucking kids, and if they are reading this blog, they are still justifying their shit before, during, and after reading these reasons.

I know it’s ridiculous to ask him to check the bed and the closet and the door and everything else. This ‘ridiculousness’ is my response to being victimized. This is how I survive being fucked as a child. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


5 Comments so far
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Ridicule is not going to keep anyone from feeling fear, unfortunately. If it were that easy, all those bullies would be considered heroes to their hapless victims. I’m the first one to get impatient with myself about my own anxieties and foiables. It’s not fair that there are people who never have to deal with half the obstacles you have had. This blog is as important to you as it is to your family, and that’s a lot of important people. It’s important because you were that child, and children need to be heard and not just seen as helpless victims. Thank you for being that voice.

Comment by sandma1half

Just a question what was he REALLY pissed about?
Ok, two questions: Is it possible in the moment his anger was just placed on the wrong thing and not what he was really angry at?
I think once someone in my life came up to me after getting pissed with my habits to let me know they didn’t really mean to get mad at me. In the moment I guess they weren’t sure what they were angry at but later realized they were angry at what happened to me and the people responsible for me developing those habits.
Just curious to know if that’s what happens to other peoples significant others. I don’t know maybe people really are just mad at me. It sucks, I do it every damn day in one way,shape, form, or another. I already feel bad most of the time when I do let people close enough to see it, feels like pulling in an unwilling participant sometimes. I don’t know maybe that IS what they are really mad at, sort of “You live this I shouldn’t have to, too.” Dunno ?

Comment by MeMyself&Who

I understand the label ridiculous and how and why anyone might see it that way.

However I would also add that your sleep prep needs are normal for you, based on what you have gone through as a child being abuse, how it has affected you, and it’s long-term consequences and aftereffects.

This stuff is our new normal. Certainly not fun, certainly not easy.

Your blog is important. You are important. Your words reach out to others, and as one of those others, another survivor, I know how important your words and your honesty and courage and sharing are.

Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

This isn’t ridiculous at all, Butterfly. As Kate said, this is about dealing with the long-term consequences of abuse. It’s not fun and it’s not easy.

I have a sort of similar issue. At my old house, every noise at night would send me rushing to the windows to see who was breaking in. No one, of course.

I now live in an apartment and it’s both better and worse. I no longer rush to the windows at every sound coz I can say “oh it’s just one of the neighbours”… BUT, the noises from the neighbours make me jump a thousand times a day and cling to the ceiling on a regular basis.

I cling to the hope that these are the things we can heal from.

As the others have said, you are important and your blog is important. Hang in there.

Comment by kerro

Great comments…I agree, and I can’t say much more b/c they said it so well.

The only people that don’t know why you shouldn’t fuck kids are the people that are fucking kids, and if they are reading this blog, they are still justifying their shit before, during, and after reading these reasons. <—–so effing true.

Comment by All Time Love




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