Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #109: The Beach House

A few months ago, the huz and I visited my aunt at her beach house. We brought the baby and had a lovely time. Last night I was talking to the huz about it, and was saying how we should go back. Then I was thinking about it as we were drifting off to sleep. Could I go there myself? I thought about it and realized I wouldn’t enjoy it without the huz, and in fact, I would be scared shitless there.

Out loud I said “I couldn’t go there myself.” The huz asked me why not. I said “Well, the door to the house is in the middle, and then my aunt’s bedroom is on one side and my bedroom is on the other side. Intruders would come to my room and my aunt wouldn’t even know.”

The huz tried to argue about the logistics of that statement, saying that the intruders would go to my aunt’s door first since it is closer to the front door. First off, how can you argue logically about fear that is not logic-based? In my head, I am an eight year old girl about to be sexually abused again, not a 35 year old woman in my aunt’s beach house in a safe community. Why would the intruders go to her room when clearly they are waiting to take me unawares, against my will?

I have had to tell him before that it is stupid to argue something that is fear-based with logic or rationality. Fear is not rational. It doesn’t listen to rational arguments. Instead it is fed by scary images and thoughts that come from real situations that have already happened to me. Where was the logic and rationale when that babysitter was fucking my brother and I when we were scared and alone and our mom wasn’t home?

I would like to visit my aunt in her beach house. I really would. But the idea of spending a terrified night or two there staring at the closet, window, and door, and deciding which thing held the most fearful prospects as I lay awake instead of sleeping doesn’t sound like such a great idea to me. People go to beach houses for vacation. I would be visiting my nightmares. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

2 Comments so far
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Hi Butterfly,

I totally understand what you are saying and I think that your argument is sound. Fears are non-logical. Logical arguments cannot defeat them.

I have tried to explain that to them as well. What I really want is someone to help me make a plan to cope with the fear that I am going through at the time and my family either don’t want to or don’t know how to help me with that.

Guys want to make it better. My brothers do the same kind of responses as your huz. They are well-meaning, but it does not good to dissuade me.

I’m sorry that it is so hard and that you can’t go visit her. You deserve to have a nice time away. Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

This is probably terrible for me to say, but your logic totally fits my mother’s logic, and that makes me think maybe my mother was a survivor. It’s a big revelation to me if it’s true, and it also makes a lot of sense. I had wondered why I thought rape was a normal thing to be afraid of every night when we have our windows open and bedroom doors unlocked. I don’t know whether or not it’s something my mom and I would ever feel comfortable talking about as she generally never wants to talk about sex unless it’s about how important it is to not have it when you’re not married. You have opened a brave new world of possibilities, my friend. Thanks, and I hope all is well.

Comment by sandma1half

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