Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason # 114: Trusting my husband of five years

The other night, my husband told me that when he was a child he had a pet goldfish who died and he made a tomb for it the way the Egyptians used to. I deduced from this information that he was, in fact, a serial killer. Here’s how I decided this: He’s generally very nice to me, and serial killers tend to have these double lives where their wives never know that they are out killing people. Yup, that’s how I got there.

So, when the time came for us to go to bed together that night, I wouldn’t let him in the bed. I made him stand by the light, and explain to me exactly why I should believe that he is not, in fact, a serial killer.

We have been married for five years and together for seven, but apparently that is not enough for me to trust him. When we were dating, he used to joke that we’d be eighty years old and still having this problem. I thought it was funny then, but now that this serial killer shit has happened, I am not sure it’s a joke anymore.

So, he stood there under the light for a half hour late at night explaining to me that he is not a serial killer, that I know where he is all the time, that I have known him for seven years and he’s never given me a reason to doubt him, that he doesn’t even kill bugs except when I ask him to, etc. I think it was that last part that finally convinced me. He really doesn’t like to kill things, and I imagine that if one is a serial killer, they derive pleasure from the killing.

It’s sad and pathetic to have this level of trust with my own husband, but I honestly believe that this one is a direct effect of the child sexual abuse and incest. It is not unlike people in my family whom I had known and loved for years to suddenly up and molest me. I mean, I loved my Dad for fifteen years before he turned on me. And my brother – I think I was eight? Or seven or nine, I have no idea. Anyway, my point is, I have only lived with my husband for five years. That’s not even as long as I lived with my brother and father before they decided that my body was theirs to use against my will.

Not trusting my beautiful husband who only treats me with love and respect. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


2 Comments so far
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Hello Butterfly,

Dear I’m so sorry that you went through this and I think how horrible that must of been to think that of your husband. But I totally understand why based on your reasons. I’m sorry that you were hurt and betrayed after years by people that you trusted.

Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

[…] I have written about these sorts of panics many times here on this blog (for instance, see Reason #114).  Anyway, she asked me to picture it.  She said “Does it feel real to you?”  I […]

Pingback by Reason #144: I trusted them too « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids




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