Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #115: The Bridal Shower

A month or two before I met my beautiful husband, I had to go to a bridal shower for one of my best friends. I was maid of honor in the wedding, so truly, I had to go. I went, I played the part of best friend, I put on a smile, and I came home and cried.

All I could think was “Of course she is getting married. Why wouldn’t she get married?” I mean, look at her there, both of her parents lovingly throwing her a shower so that she can enter into this adult rite of passage. What exactly would have ever stopped her from getting married? She came from a loving home, a safe home, where no one ever fucked her, and she never had to push her dresser in front of her door to feel safe at night. She has no problem with sex. So really, of course she would get married.

At that point, I understood for sure that I would never get married. I would never have the bridal shower with the two parents lovingly sending me off. I mean, that just wasn’t my life, and for the most part I accepted it. But that bridal shower was too much for me that night, and I came home and cried. My mom probably thought I was crying because I wasn’t getting married, and that probably was part of it. But the real reason why I was crying was because I knew that I had never felt what my best friend felt. Safe. Safe enough to leave home, safe enough to get married, safe enough to trust that the man she was entrusting the rest of her life to wasn’t going to betray her.

I was wrong. But for 28 years, I was right. And this is why you shouldn’t fuck kids. The thing is, I was wrong about the marriage part, but truly, I was and still am right about the feeling safe part. I am 35 years old. I have no memory of feeling truly safe, and I have no feeling of true safety now either. I suppose in a world that is willing to fuck children, no one is truly safe.

3 Comments so far
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I hear you on the loss of family and feeling safe. First time I ever felt safe was in a 12 step group, when I noticed my shoulders were relaxed for the first time in memory.

I think as survivors (and orphans, in a sense) it’s time to make our own rituals, celebrations and rites of passage, with the family we choose and the people who love us. We need them and I think the world needs it too.

You are a beautiful Butterfly, and nothing they did can change that.

Blessings to you,

Comment by sworddancewarrior

You are so right! Touche.

Every now and then, someone will ask me if I pray and what I pray for. It’s simple: I want to feel safe, just once, really safe.

Comment by Ivory

Hi Butterfly,

I can understand that depth of sorrow and aloneness. I am glad that you were wrong after you met him.

Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

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