Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #117: Boundaries

When I was a teenager, I had a best friend who had two parents that got along with each other, and a brother. One day she said “My brother came out of the bathroom today with just a towel on. It was so gross. We all told him ‘put some clothes on!” I said “What happened then?” She looked at me and said “He put some clothes on.” I sat there completely flabbergasted.

Normal families have boundaries. Sexually abusive families do not. My father almost always walked around in his underwear (tidy-whities), and no shirt. And he would scratch himself and make noises while doing so. My brother, having learned from the fine example my father set for him, would masturbate in his room, and then walk out of his room in his underwear with his penis still hard. Disgusting. Both of them made me extremely uncomfortable with their weird exhibitionist behavior, and of course, neither of them could give a shit about me or my discomfort.

I asked my husband if he has ever seen his father or mother at all disrobed or unclothed in any way. He said no. My husband is the most respectful person I have ever met when it comes to boundaries. He was obviously raised in a home where boundaries were respected. When you’re raised in a sexually abusive home, it’s not like the sex abuse is the only bad thing happening in that house. There’s lots of other shit going on too. Since the big boundary has been forced down against our will, all the other boundaries were probably crumbled before that too.

As an adult, I have no understanding of boundaries, and I am constantly allowing my boundaries to be crossed so that people will like me. All of my boundaries meant nothing to those who were abusing me, so I grew up thinking that I have to let people trample over me and my boundaries in order to like me. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids. We have no idea that we are allowed to fucking say no, to you or anyone else. And the thing about boundaries is that with some people, you have to assert your boundaries again and again. It’s not like the first ‘no’ will do it, you have to say it over and over again. And of course, with some people – like for instance people who fuck kids, you could say no every second of every day, and they still won’t stop.

I told my brother and father to cover up, that it made me uncomfortable. They didn’t give a shit about me or my boundaries, which is what allowed them to molest me. The incest taboo is an enormous boundary, and it exists for a reason. Fucking kids is wrong, and fucking kids within your own family is also wrong. People who fuck kids don’t like to believe it’s wrong, because they don’t give a shit about the kids or their feelings or their boundaries. They only give a shit about themselves. I could have asked them hundreds of times to put some clothes on, but my feelings were not their concern. Just like with all people that fuck kids, they were more concerned about themselves than they were about me. Boundaries exist in normal families, but I bet if you asked any person who has been sexually abused about their family’s boundaries, they’d say the same things I just did.


5 Comments so far
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Hi Butterfly,
It was “normal” in my family for my Dad to walk around in his underwear, too. I think that there were also a lot of boundary issues in our family, and that it was very hard to trust people there, too. While we were not literally fucked as kids, I did feel as if some cultural differences and communication problems led to a lot of other kinds of abuse. Thank you for saying something I feel like I needed to hear.

Comment by sandma1half

I hear you. My dad used to walk around in a jock. It was disgusting. He would just say I’m proud of my body. blahhh…

C.

Comment by Ceara

Hi Butterfly,

” bet if you asked any person who has been sexually abused about their family’s boundaries, they’d say the same things I just did.”

Yes. You are right. It was sick and disgusting. It was wrong. I can’t say what, but yes it happened.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

I’d never thought about this as a boundary issue before but, of course, you’re right. I always thought it was creepy, and I was the weird one because I didn’t want to walk around almost naked. Of course, it wasn’t me…

Comment by Kerro

I was just talking about this with my friend, my grandfather walked around in his “not so tighty whiteys” and his penis was always hanging out. I can remember the feeling if nausea and unease and willing myself not to look down…….For 6 frigging years……..It was always so joyous when he got brand new tight underwear……..until the elastic wore out on those too 😦
Hugs to you Butterfly, I pray you’ll truly feel safe one day….

Comment by woundeddeer




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