Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason # 125: Wearing a butterfly mask
September 27, 2009, 1:28 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

I was talking to a friend last night, and our discussion wandered over into a discussion about which post of mine so far is my favorite. I told her that my favorite one was the one I wrote after watching a particular episode of My Name is Earl. That particular post – and I just looked it up – it was Reason # 22, so it happened fairly early into my keeping this blog – really hit home for me, because it was such a light bulb moment.

In that particular episode, Earl hurt some guy by hurting his car. By hurting his car, it attracted many other hurts in this guy’s life. Pretty soon, this guy went from being happy to being all fucked up. By the time Earl meets up with him again, this time to right his wrongs, he spends the whole episode thinking the guy is building a bomb. And the way the guy acts, we all think so too. He’s a loner, he lives in a hotel room, and he keeps buying all these weird things that could be used to make a bomb big enough to hurt a lot of people.

By the end of the episode, we find out that the guy is actually building a rocket ship that will take him far away so he doesn’t have to be with people again. This is when Earl realized that by hurting this man like that, he not only closed this man’s eyes to all the good in the world, he also opened this man’s eyes to all the bad in the world. I feel this is an excellent representation of what happened to me – the aftermath of that babysitter betraying all that was good in my world by molesting my brother and I. I was apparently a very happy child until then. And then after that, I was someone who always looked over her shoulder, covered my head with the covers, wore so many blankets in summer, etc. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

I am so afraid these days. It’s hard to leave my house, and I am afraid even in my own home. I told my friend that I feel like I am a caterpillar who is wearing a butterfly mask.

My friend had the loveliest thing to say about it though. She said: Well, for me a butterfly is what it is not because of its face, but its ability to fly. If this mask is what enables you to fly, maybe it’s not that bad to wear it.

4 Comments so far
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Hi Butterfly,

I like your friend’s comment about the mask. That is a very healing way to look at it. I also think that within every catepillar is the dream and eventual reality of morphing into a butterfly. Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

I like your friends comment too, may you fly where ever you want to, Butterfly.

Comment by sworddancewarrior

You are beautiful.

Comment by TreatInfamy

[…] him and she hurt us and we’ve never been the same.  And since her arrival into our lives, I have been terrified of the whole world ever since.  She hurt us, terribly, and it was really scary and we didn’t have anywhere we could go or […]

Pingback by Reason #200: This terrible thing happened to me « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

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