Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #127: Open Window

On the RAINN website, (that’s short for Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network), there is a link to this movie “Open Window”. I watched the trailer to the movie, and it was absolutely haunting.

In the movie, there is a husband and wife. The husband opens a window at some point in the movie. At a later point in the movie, the wife is doing something in that room with the open window. Someone comes in through that window and rapes her. Later in the trailer is a scene with her therapist. The therapist asks her something about the rape, and the wife says “Well I left the window open”. I thought that scene pretty much said it all, in terms of the myriad of ways we find to blame ourselves for the disgusting things that people do to us.

Every night, my husband has to check all vulnerable spots in the house. Windows, doors, closets, dark spaces, corners, etc. Locks on doors need to be checked twice, the way the door fits into the door jam needs to be checked several times. I have done this for years, and now that I am married, I am grateful that the huz does some of the checking for me.

I was talking to my husband about this trailer that I watched, and about that scene in particular. I told him that this scene hit upon my exact fear, that if I stop checking for all these ways that intruders could hurt me, then that will be the exact time when an intruder hurts me. I feel like I need to be extra vigilant about checking all the time so that I can stop possible hurts, the kind of hurts I have already suffered as a child.

It’s not my fault that the babysitter found an opportunity to molest us when my mother hired her to care for us while she ran an errand. It’s not that woman’s fault that the window was left open and some degenerate prick chose that opportunity to harm her. Knowing that it’s not my fault and that it’s not her fault does not stop the hypervigilance and the constant fear of the dark. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I agree with you. Abuse happens and none of us have to take on the responsibility of the abuse except for those who perpetrate abuse.

Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

I have cried over and over that “I knew better”. I cannot get it out of my head that I somehow could have changed what happened so therefore, it was all my fault.

In our world, we have the right to leave the window open and NOT be molested.

Comment by Ivory

I think what really scares me about rape is the same thing that scares me about personality disorders. The very act changes us in ways we cannot control. We are liable to say things we do not mean, do things we would not have done otherwise. The thing is so scary that there are literally no rules about either person’s behavior. I am reminded now of a friend of mine who basically told me about a time she rescued herself from a possible rape by an acquaintance by talking to him with a very calm voice and straight logic. I wish I could relate the whole story here, but my memory isn’t all that hot, and I’m not sure I’d have her permission to do it. The window, be it open, locked, or broken is not supposed to be an invitation into a person’s house just as tight jeans should never be an invitation for someone into a person’s pants.

Comment by sandma1half




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