Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #136: I hate the 70’s

This one is truly great, in terms of fucked-upness. So, I hate the 1970’s. I don’t even like typing it.

Yup, a whole decade shot to shit for me. Hearing music from the 70’s generally induces a panic attack, and I don’t like any visual reminders either, such as 70’s hair or clothing.

There was this one song that used to come on the radio and whenever it did, it would freak the shit out of me. I never understood why until I finally realized that it was in the 1970’s when that babysitter fucked my brother and I against our will. I would have been five years old or less, and he would have been 8 years old or less. We know it happened somewhere before 1979.

This reason really makes me shake my head. Hating a whole decade. Yet another way that surviving child sexual abuse has left me with a lifetime of fucked upness, with no real assurance that any of this weirdness will ever go away. I mean, I am sitting there watching one of my favorite tv programs, Dancing with the Stars, and they go and pick a fucking 70’s song. And I am instantly uncomfortable. And I start squirming in my seat, looking around. Can anyone see me, what is happening to me? Do I change the channel, or should I wait this out? Maybe the beauty of their dancing and the fact that people exist in the world who have such amazing relationships with their own body will make me forget about the fact that they are dancing to 1970’s music. I am getting more uncomfortable by the second. What did she do to me? Did she start right away, as soon as my mom left the house? I bet my brother was so uncomfortable too, just like me. But we were both kids and really, what the fuck could we do about our discomfort? I wish I could have saved him, and I bet he wished he could save me. And neither of us could save each other, and now I have to sit here watching people dance to the music I was molested to.

Hating a whole fucking decade. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


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Hi Butterfly,

This makes sense. Often I find there is a really good reason for my issues and that they are always related to the abuse. You do an incredible job of figuring this out and healing. I hope that knowing helps. I know that for me sometimes it does help healing and it quickly changes and other times no change appears for some time. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975




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