Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #139: We “waste” electricity

We visited family in another state to celebrate Thanksgiving. We hired the huz’s sister to walk our dog a few times a day for us, since we couldn’t be here to do it. I found out later from the huz that she told my mother-in-law this whispered atrocity: “They leave the lights on, even when they’re not there!” Quite the shonda for the neighbors. (Shonda is a yiddish word for ‘shame’.)

Anyway, as is usually the case with family affairs, his mom told him, and he told me. The huz got a kick out of it, but I was of course ashamed. The thing is, I leave the lights on because I am terrified of the dark. My fear of the dark was actually Reason #1 why you shouldn’t fuck kids. Well, in order to live with a fear of the dark, it means living with the lights on all the time. Even when I am not home, because I can’t bear to be in the house for that last second while I shut off the light and go out the door. And I certainly cannot bear to walk back into a house with no lights on.

Maybe it is a waste of electricity. I guess it is a waste. I guess we can all choose to be upset about the wasting of electricity, or we can look at the cause of the waste of electricity in my case (fear of the dark as an after-effect of surviving childhood sexual abuse) and be upset about that. Maybe if we all got as upset and vigilant about stopping childhood sexual abuse as we are about shutting off our lights, no new electricity would need to be wasted.

My name is Butterfly and I leave the lights on when I’m not home. I waste electricity because I am afraid of the dark. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

4 Comments so far
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My name is Ivory and need to have the lights on so I can sleep, so I can think of something other than who might be creeping up on me, and because it provides a bit of security.

Electricity wasn’t discovered so we could “save” it. If it keeps you from being terrified, then Benjamin Franklin didn’t stand out in that storm for nothing.

Comment by Ivory

My name is Kate and there have been times that I slept with the lights on. I don’t like to sit in a room without a light on, no watching tv or on the computer without another light on. That just doesn’t happen. That just won’t happen. I lived with people who did that. It ratchets up my anxiety, no thank you. The cost difference is small for me, I checked to see the differences on the bill once I changed my patterns. For me it was like $5 a month. I hate when family members feel duty bound to judge and shame others who are not identical to them. You are nothing like them dear Butterfly, you are not judging and shaming. Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

I love reading your posts because I immediately feel validated and sometimes all it takes is just seeing the headline. Solid evidence because I make an immediate connection.

Ever since I could reach the light switch, I have kept the lights on. I have been shamed and ridiculed by my mom, roommates, and Boyfried whom I live with now, about how much electricity I waste, and how selfish that is!

I tried to curtail it, and finally accepted that I am just selfish. I can’t change the habit, so I will take the guilt and names. Why I didn’t realize that my fear of the dark and not feeling safe in a dark room stemmed from my childhood sexual abuse seems silly to me now.

Comment by some people just hide in plain sight

[…] fuck kids. We sleep with the lights on. As you already know from a past post, I don’t like wasting electricity, but I need the lights to survive with sanity. But it’s not just the waste of electricity […]

Pingback by Reason #284: Sleeping with the Lights On « Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

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