Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #147: Horseshit
January 22, 2010, 4:29 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

A psychologist (Susan Clancy) has written a new book called “The Trauma Myth”, and the title alone should tell you how she feels about survivors of child sexual abuse.  I am not linking to it, because I don’t need her getting any more sales off this book from my blog.  Anyway, she argues that it is not the molestation that bothers us, it’s the fact that all the adults in our life and the media told us that getting molested was bad.  See, we are stupid naive young children, and were it not for the fact that we were sent the message that it was wrong, afterwards, we’d all be okay with our bodies being used against our will, provided there was no violence involved. 

This is yet another version of the rape myth, and Alfred Kinsey (the famed sex researcher) originally posed this shit about child sex abuse as well.  I am using this blog to respectfully call this mindset a bunch of horseshit. 

The problem with Susan Clancy’s (and Alfred Kinsey’s) logic is that it doesn’t take into account several things:

1) The child has negative feelings during the abuse.

2) The child tries to dissociate from the abuse by concentrating on something else, since she is entirely powerless to someone else using her body.

3) Many times, no one in the child’s life is denouncing the act afterwards, and instead they tell her to just shut the fuck up because it really isn’t so bad.

Harvard (of which Susan Clancy is a graduate) is constantly putting this kind of horseshit into the forefront, and because it’s Harvard, people are all “Wow, that’s so smart, I never thought of it that way.”  They hold onto this shit because again, it is much easier to believe that kids aren’t so fucked up by abuse.  And yet, I have now written 147 reasons that being a survivor has fucked me up, fucked my marriage up, fucked my life up.  Harvard would argue it’s because I came to find out later that what happened to me was bad.  I would argue that that is a bunch of horseshit, and that I was afraid from the moment it all started with the babysitter, and that I was never the same again.  Everyone became a potential predator from the moment that babysitter touched me, and everyone in my family noticed the stark difference in me at the tender young age of less than five years old.  This is, of course, why shouldn’t fuck kids.

It always comes down to the same shit.  You either believe us or you don’t.  You can’t say on one hand that child sexual abuse is bad, and then in the same book say that the effects of it are not as real as we think they are.  You are either on the right side of this war or the wrong side, and this book, unfortunately, is going to be touted for years to come by people who want to believe that is is okay to fuck kids.

12 Comments so far
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I didn’t know my abuser wasn’t allowed to abuse me until I was 16 and I was very messed up long before then. Not to mention the physical impact and scars. What a bitch this author is, I wonder who abused who in her family that she’s willing to spout this kind of crap. Sounds like a non-abused sibling or daddy’s little apologist to me. I wonder how she feels about date rape. Is that something she’d be willing to argue is just about the women’s beliefs that non-consensual sex is wrong?

In solidarity,

Comment by sworddancewarrior

Hi SDW – I know, seriously! Her book argues that child sex abuse, if not violent, is not traumatic the way rape would be. The faulty logic there is that non-violent child sexual abuse is not traumatic, and that only violence justifies the use of the word ‘trauma’.

Comment by butterflysblog

All child sexual abuse is sexual violence. All rape is sexual violence. There is trauma because sexual abuse of all kinds is trauma.

I don’t think her “theory” holds any water because for centuries and decades no one talked about abuse and nothing was ever said about abuse except to blame the victim, but the trauma and damage was still there. I don’t know a single survivor who was told it was wrong when it happened or even decades later. It takes a long time to find someone who says the right thing to a survivor.

She’s an idiot. I hate this kind of bullshit.

Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

Hi Kate – you are so right. Thank you so much for sharing.

Comment by butterflysblog

What the hell!?!?!?
That logic is really jacked the hell up, so what about if you don’t know it is wrong and you put yourself in situations where other people take advantage of you in more degrading ways or you take advantage of others…
Even if it didn’t physically hurt it hurt mentally and emotionally and that causes life long problems.
She should tell that bullshit to the little kids in the cages in the Bombay brothels.
What a bitch, she’ll go down in history like Leni Riefenstahl hopefully 😦

Comment by PhoenixAscending

Good God, I didn’t know people could be this stupid. Especially college-educated people. That woman should have her license to practice revoked. It’s fucking ridiculous. I am a survivor of sexually abuse myself, and I can tell you that I was fucked up long before I even realized what had happened. Learning about it and why it was wrong is what allowed me to start the healing process. Susan Clancy’s ideas are not just ludicrous, they’re dangerous to the people who need support the most.

Comment by TreatInfamy

Some people go to great lengths to keep their precious denial safe. I am devastated for those who will read her crap and spin into a depression or whatever as they begin to question everything they have begun to piece together in their healing. I pray that those whom her book hurts will find the support we have all found.
I would be curious to see what “comes around” for Ms. Clancy.
Take care Butterfly ♥

Comment by vickiinaz

I’m sorry, but I just had to comment. The woman who wrote this book needs to be horsewhipped, repeatedly…

Comment by insaneheart09

Wow, Butterfly. How can all of these Harvard people and this author be in such denial? Thanks for speaking out on our behalf. And if ever karma will kick in, this chick is in for it.

Comment by some people just hide in plain sight

Oh, and PS. Just read about the effects sexual abuse has on infants. (Kate75’s blog). Um, I don’t think anyone has told these little ones it’s so bad yet. They don’t even cognitively “remember” the incident. It’s their fight or flight stress reactions that take place during triggering situations. How in the world did someone write a book on this and not take that into consideration?

Comment by some people just hide in plain sight

I was not raped. I was touched, albeit always gently, for years. Until it felt akward and I decided I wanted all skin contact with him to stop.

Then I was thrown out of the house, by letter, while I was on vacation with my mother. I was 13. She asked me : did he do anything to you ? I answered : no. She divorced and he didn’t get custody. I never wanted to see him again, I would go nuts if I saw him from a distance.

I had nightmares of him raping me. For years. I thought *I* was a pervert because I kept having those nightmares, while clearly remembering that nothing non-consensual ever happened (like rape). It took me more than 10 years to learn that nakedly cuddling your daughter was also incest. Yet I was already suffering.

Explain that, Harvard.

And when I got to know it was indeed incest ? I wasted another few years torturing me with the thought that if I had stopped him from the start nothing would ever have happened. It was not violent, see. I was never overpowered. I had not said no. My fault then ! Not his. He never knowingly abused me, right ? So he’s innocent.

As if a 5 or 6-years-old would know that daddy’s genitalia naked against her is not right, even when it’s searing hot. Besides Mummy knows that daddy and daughter are together naked in bed, and finds nothing of concern in it. Her hubby was odd anyways. No interest in a sex life, for once. Since she had been raped by a family friend as a child (nobody knows, she told me some 6 years ago), she didn’t mind that much.

That woman is a sucker and doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Abuse is made even worse when it’s not violent. Thank God I never had the idea of “playing doctor” with him. He would have gladly obliged.

Comment by balbrouckan

unfuckingbelievable in some situations, ones feelings can possibly be enhanced by anothers input (ex..”This movie sucks” “Gee Jill your right”) but theres a huge fucking difference on popcorn and fighting for your being.. Such a smarty lady, tried to apply herself in years of edcation yet is still incapable of detecting the difference between opinion and fact. Opinion-you are ugly Fact- Lysol kills germs for the average mostly sane person this is gonna be boring, so lets entertain our selves take a dip into the authors mind- Opinion- murder,physical suffering, childhood situations that alter your mind’s cycle for the rest of your life, and cancer are bad. Fact- money,offending people and typing bllshit to hit 2 birds with one stone is good.. We can all right a book on just about anything…this isnt y were angry…its why would u pick a topic that u know is going to hurt alot of people..and piss alot of people off and still dont give a shit..out of all the things to choose from.. kids dude… what the fuck is wrong with this bitch susan clancy, sweet dreams.

Comment by mr147ck

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