Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #168: I don’t like that
April 20, 2010, 8:08 pm
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My son is two and a half years old, and he doesn’t like to be touched or held by strangers. He loves being held by us, his mom and dad.  But not strangers.  Strangers, in his estimation, can be relatives, friends, anyone.

As a sex abuse survivor, I try VERY hard to make sure that he gets 100% say in who touches his body, if I am around. He has the right to say no to anyone, including his grandparents and my husband and I.

A few weeks ago, we took my husband’s best friend out to dinner, and my hands were filled with the baby’s toys and trying to find my keys. My son wanted to be picked up, and I didn’t have the free hands. My husband’s best friend picked my son up, and my son sat in his arms for a minute (looking uncomfortable) and said “I don’t like that”. I immediately stopped what I was doing and transferred him into my arms.

I couldn’t stop thinking about that incident all night though.  My son was so innocent and trusting – hoping that if he told me he doesn’t like someone touching him, I would immediately put a stop to it.   I was lucky like that too – when I told my mom what was happening, she stopped it.   How many of us survivors weren’t so lucky??

I have spoken before on this blog about my intense need to make sure  that the same things that have happened to me do not happen to my son.  This is yet another way (the 168th way, if you’re counting like I am) that my history of sex abuse interferes with my normal daily life.  That’s why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


1 Comment so far
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Hi Butterfly,

I’m glad that you were able to take him right away after he voiced his dislike. That is great. Great that he could do it and great that you could be there for him.

I was raised by people who didn’t have any boundaries for their children. My siblings went on to raise their children without boundaries as well, some as well meaning as they could be. Adults picking up their children, walking around, teasing them and making them feel uncomfortable were common occurrences at family gatherings.

It is so wonderful to see that you are changing in your own life, in your own generation a chain of abuse and stopping it from going on to the next generation. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975




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