Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #171: It takes a village

I was talking to my therapist about the sex abuse the other day, and I got through talking about the babysitter and my brother, but my voice skipped a little bit when I started talking about the mini-nervous-breakdown I had in high school after talking to the CPS worker about what had happened with my dad.  I apologized for crying, as I always do in every situation I cry in, and she said I had nothing to apologize for.

Then she said “If I may ask – what did you work on with your other therapists?”

I recognized what she was really asking with this statement.  You’re still pretty fucked up after having seen so many therapists.

I told her that I saw my first good therapist (after umpteen shitty ones) when I got pretty serious about suicide.  That therapist was a psychologist, and I was 18, almost 19.  I was with her for almost 3 years.  I feel like she did a great job with me, frankly.  I’m alive.

The second good one  – she, too, was a wonderful therapist.  She was a social worker, and I began seeing her because I recognized that I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life.  I was alone, and I didn’t want to be.  I was in a career that was unfulfilling.  And, of course, I was afraid all the time, as I am now.  She helped me with my love life and my career, and I feel she did a great job.

This therapist is a marriage and family therapist. The other two therapists were able to get me to this wonderful place, where I learned how to find and keep healthy love.  But now I am dealing with all the issues that come from being in a loving healthy relationship.  And there are shitloads of issues that I bring into this marriage from the sex abuse.  Like making a conscious decision to not let this relationship be just about my body.  My head and heart have to be involved.  That’s one of the many reasons we aren’t fucking each other.  I let my head get involved and then the trauma dictates.

My point here is that I have needed a therapist as I crossed each major hurdle in my life.  From suicide to living to fulfilling career to love to marriage and sex.  I have seen many therapists in my life, but these three were the good ones out of umpteen shitty therapists.  It takes a village to save us after you’ve fucked us.  That’s why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


5 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hi Butterfly,

I agree with you. It does take a village. I am just so sad and upset that there were so many shitty therapists for me, as that was my experience as well. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

Hi Butterfly,

I agree with you. It does take a village. I am just so sad and upset that there were so many shitty therapists for you, as that was my experience as well. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Comment by kate1975

I am glad you keep writing this blog. It is painful, but you are healing. Thank you for writing. Jenny

Comment by artconstellation

Your words reminded me of something that was said recently at a mental health hope and recovery conference where I am. In India, they say that the more schizophrenics you have at your wedding, the more blessed will be your marriage. This is because they believe that people who hear voices have a direct line to G-d. They celebrate this by making them into the most important guests at formal ceremonies like this. I think your words are like this. They remind us of the miracle that life has blessed us with survivors who can make the world a safer and better place to be.

Comment by sandma1half

Wow. What a beautiful way that India has of honoring people. Thank you so much for sharing this!!!

Comment by butterflysblog




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