Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #196: Hide and Seek

This week I had to give my personal number out for a work project.  This may or may not be something for other people, but for me it was pretty huge.

When I went to college, I also went into hiding from my dad.  I didn’t give out my home address or home number very easily, and I certainly never made contact with him.  After I graduated college and got a job, I kept myself hidden.  With each move, I stayed hidden.  Interestingly enough, I had the weird feeling that I was being followed (and as it turns out, I was). 

In one of my jobs over the years, I came clean and told a friend that I was in hiding.  That my dad threatened to kill my mom, and we were in hiding.  My friend said “My G-d, why don’t you run far away?”  I understand he was looking out for my safety, but at the time, I felt so indignant.  I mean, excuse me, but I am the injured party here.  Why should I have to leave my job and life and everything I have created?  Shouldn’t the fucking perpetrator have to leave everything they have known??  I wasn’t the one who committed a crime.

This the life of a survivor of child abuse.  We spend our life hiding.  Sometimes we put a lot of effort into hiding, and it becomes a prescriptive thing, like the way I did from my dad.  Sometimes we get social phobia, and hide from the rest of the world too.  This is the way I hide now.

I have often thought it is fucked up that when kids finally get the courage to tell about the abuse, the answer they receive is for them to be removed from their own home while everything gets checked out.  Shouldn’t the abuser have to leave?  It just doesn’t work like that.  If Mom wants to hang onto abusive Dad, Daughter has to leave the house.  Shouldn’t the criminal be the one to leave??

When my boss asked for my home number, I visibly hesitated.  I had a realization – I am not in hiding anymore. There is no reason not to give my home number.  But I was in hiding for many years. 

Old habits die hard.  That’s why you shouldn’t fuck kids.


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Congrats on taking a huge risk and, at least this one time, flipping the bird at those ugly old strategies that seek to control who you become.

Stand tall! You’ve done something amazing!

Comment by sjjnks

I recently realized I do not have to hide anymore either. It is scary and it takes courage… but the feeling of freedom is worth it. Good for you!!

Comment by artconstellation

Hi Art and Sjjnks – thank you so much for the kind words of wisdom and encouragement. – Butterfly

Comment by butterflysblog

Well done for having the Courage and Determination, for that I admire you.

Heiko

Comment by heikoworld




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