Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #266: Fear of Penis
November 21, 2011, 1:10 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

The other day, I was sitting with two female friends at work, and we were talking about sex.  One of my friends just got a new boyfriend, and apparently they are having ‘lots of sex’.  (As you know, due to my history of surviving child sexual abuse, I have never had ‘lots of sex’ in any of my consensual relationships.)  Anyway, she was talking about how great the sex was.

My other friend (she’s single) chimed in about how much fun sex was, and how much she wanted to get laid.  I sat there silently because even though I have had consensual sex, I seriously had nothing to add to this conversation.  Even before we decided to divorce, my husband and I hadn’t had sex in years.

My single friend said “I love penises.  They’re so much fun to play with.”  I was bewildered by that statement.  I said “How do you mean?”  She looked at me and just repeated “They are fun to play with.”  I have been pondering that statement for days now because I am so bewildered by it.

My friend has only had sexual experiences that she wanted to have.  All of her formative experiences around sex were consensual, pleasurable, and wanted.  Consequently, she has formed a very natural enjoyment of sex and everything surrounding sex, such as penises.

My formative experiences with sexual stuff was as a child surviving sexual abuse.  The experiences were scary and not wanted.  Consequently, I have formed a very natural fear of sex and everything surrounding sex, such as penises.  This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

6 Comments so far
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Dear Butterfly,

I too don’t mean know what she means. Fun and penis are not too words I would put into a sentence in the affirmative. I might say Penises are not fun and I don’t love them.

If she were my friend I would have to keep asking her in what way over and over until she gives me a reply.

Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

sorry for the sentence and spelling errors. The topic got me all weird.

Comment by kate1975

Hi Kate,

I am grateful that someone understands what I am talking about. This topic can be so embarrassing, which is probably why no one talks about it, and also why my friend couldn’t answer me. You’re wonderful, Kate, for being willing to engage in this discussion. Yay Kate!


Comment by butterflysblog

Hi Butterfly,

Thanks. I never feel comfortable objectifying body parts, but it is obvious that is not what you are doing. You are talking about the aftereffects of abuse and on the other side the freedom to be sexual in a way that is healthy, fun, and fulfilling. Never done that. Wish I could.

Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

I have similar issues, Butterfly. I never feel comfortable talking about sex, nor talking during sex. I think talking itself reminds me of some kinds of past abuse, and I tend not to linger into certain subjects for that reason.

Comment by sandma1half

It’s interesting how abuse effects people differently. I’m the opposite, I have trouble saying no to sexual things even if they make me uncomfortable.

Sometimes I’m not scared or nervous, but I’m not into the sex either. I feel nothing even though I’m with my boyfriend. Afterwards I’m back to feeling in love. It’s like shutting down, being a sex toy not a person.

Comment by Eugene Stearns

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