Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #304: Sometimes I smell like vomit

As my longtime readers know, I have bulimia.  I have had it since my father molested me when I was 15.  I am 39 now, so it’s been 24 years of binge/purge.  I trace my bulimia directly back to my father’s interest in my teenaged body.  It nauseated me, and after he touched me I just didn’t want to retain food in my body anymore. I started throwing up after that.

I use it mainly as a stress relief now, and it crops up once or twice every few months.  It’s still pretty shameful and humiliating, but at least now I only do it every so often (as opposed to how I used to be when I would throw up three times a day).

I had another conference this last weekend that I had to go to. I was very stressed about it.  A few days before the conference, I binged and then decided to throw it up. I did that twice that evening. I cried in the bathroom after the second time.

Later that night, I caught a whiff of the smell of vomit somewhere on myself, but I couldn’t place where it was.  Maybe it was my hand (which I use to trigger my gag reflex).  No matter how many times I washed my hands that night, I smelled the vomit.

Sometimes I smell like vomit.  That’s why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

1 Comment so far
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Dear sweet Butterfly,

I’m sorry, dear. Bulimia has definite biological and physiological components. I’m sorry that your disease causes you shame and humiliation. I’m sorry that you are at any time blaming yourself. I’m sorry that sometimes you smell like vomit and that this disease hurts you physically and emotionally. I’m sorry that you have another reason that monsters should not rape children. Thinking of you and sending you our love.

Good and healing thoughts to you.


Comment by kate1975

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