Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

An Open Letter to Jane Doe of Steubenville
March 18, 2013, 7:55 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized
I found this letter on, and I am reposting it in its entirety here:
Dear Jane Doe of Steubenville,

I know that right now you may not think that life will ever get better. I know that you may think you will never have the life you dreamed of before this happened. No matter what just know this – you are not alone. There are millions of us in this country. There are billions of us in the world. We once were Rape Victims and with time and healing we have become survivors and you will too.

I am so sorry that you have joined this group that some of us belong to. I am sorry that at such a young age your life has become this. I am sorry for the guilt you sometimes feel. I am sorry for the shame you sometimes feel. All of us in this group have felt the same at one point or another. It won’t be easy, I won’t lie to you but I do know this – you will survive, one day at a time, you will survive. As each day that passes and you survive you will move from being a victim to a survivor. I know right now you don’t really understand what that means yet, but in time you will. Until then know that millions and even billions of women and young girls around the world are holding you close in their hearts.
We are holding you in a place that those of us who belong to this group know that women held us when we went through the same feelings. You may not know those of us holding you in our hearts but we are here just the same. We will to continue to hold you and every other young girl and woman who is a victim of rape and we will wait for the day when you understand that you are a survivor.
We will be your voice. We will be your face. We will be your strength. We will not stop holding you until that day, and then we will stand hand to hand, heart to heart, and you will rise up with the millions and billions of other voices to say I AM A SURVIVOR!
Until then we will continue this fight to stop violence against women. Until then we will RISE UP and when you join us you will realize that you were with us all the while. May your journey be filled with people around you who love you, protect you, and support you. We will be waiting here holding you in our heart.
The Survivors of Rape From Around the World

Reason #309: The obesity problem in society

I would like to lose weight.  I am unhappy at the weight I am at. The problem is that whenever I have lost weight in the past, I get to a certain point and no matter what I do, I can’t lose any more weight (even though I would be considered fat at that weight on any doctor’s scale).

Two years ago, I began The Sugar Addicts Recovery Program.  Kathleen DesMaisons feels that if you eat enough protein in the morning, you won’t have as many cravings through the day.  I think she is right, so I have been doing that ever since.  Then about a year ago, I found the Jon Gabriel Method. He explains that if you are anything more than 10 lbs overweight, it is because you do not feel safe losing the weight.  He says that as long as you don’t feel safe, your body will never release its hold on the weight because your body simply doesn’t want to be thin.

I couldn’t agree with him more. I have always known that my fatness was about safety.  I didn’t start gaining weight till my brother began molesting me. As an adult, every time I have tried to lose weight, I have mostly failed.  A thinner body is a smaller body.  When I was in a small body as a child, three people used my smallness to their sexual advantage.  They used my body for their sexual pleasure, and enjoyed their power over me.  When I think about being in a thinner body now, I equate it with smallness.  Smallness hasn’t worked out well for me in the past.  These thoughts and anxieties have thwarted many attempts to lose weight, and eventually my subconscious overtakes me, and I have put on more weight than I have lost in diets.

This, of course, is why you shouldn’t fuck kids. You don’t like the obesity problem in America?  Stop fucking kids.  I was once at a conference on incest, and I swear to G-d, every single one of us (and I’m talking hundreds of people) was overweight.  Some of us were massively overweight.  We have all cleverly figured out that weight is a good shield, a good measure of insulation that keeps people far the fuck away from us. And honestly, this has worked pretty well for me so far.  Somehow when I reach a certain weight, I become invisible to men. This weight has kept me safe.

But the truth is that my adult self is unhappy with this weight now.  I don’t feel protected by it so much anymore. Instead, I feel hampered by it. I feel like my weight is holding me back from being my best self.

As you know from my last post, this year is my year of trying to empower myself. I have spent a lot of time working through this issue in therapy, and listening to Jon Gabriel’s visualizations.  And today I had such a lovely thought.  I tried to imagine myself in a thinner body.  And immediately my mind did its usual thing where thinness=smallness=me getting violated again. But today I changed the ending of that thought. The violator still tries to violate me, but in my thinner smaller body, I am confident and fit.  I am strong and I have a good relationship with my body.  My body and I work together and I fight my would-be violator, and I KICK HIS FUCKING ASS.

He will think twice before ever fucking with me again.

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