Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


I am a 37 year old woman living in America. I am a survivor of incest and child sexual abuse at the hands of a babysitter when I was less than five years old (she said “let’s play a game”), my brother when I was 8 (he played the same game, because that same babysitter did the same shit to him), and my father when I was 15 (it wasn’t a game – he wanted a wife).

When I started this blog, I was in a happy marriage to a wonderful man. I am now in the process of separating and divorcing from that man because he is becoming a woman. He came to realize that he is a she, a transgendered woman surviving in a man’s body. We will always love each other and be family to each other, but our marriage has ended.

I am a mama to my beautiful sweet son.

I am writing this blog because I am alive, and many other survivors didn’t make it.  This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

*A note about the word “fuck”. It’s a word that is not acceptable in mixed company. It’s a word that people use in their homes when ‘outsiders’ cannot hear. This is what happens to child victims of sexual abuse. It happens in secret where no one is supposed to know about it, just like the use of the word ‘fuck’. You can choose to get upset about the wording or you can decide to get upset about the action that is causing me to use the word.

A really beautiful explanation of how fucked kids are like caterpillars finding their way to butterflyhood.

11 Comments so far
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How did you decide on the butterfly profile?
Curious about your creative process…

Comment by Sandra

Hi Sandra,

A butterfly is a creature that spends part of its life locked up in a protective cocoon. When it is finished protecting itself from the world, and forming itself to be its best self, it shows itself to the world, and it is a beautiful butterfly.

I believe that survivors of child sexual abuse (and all the other forms of abuse) are like butterflies. When they are surviving the abuse, they have to protect themselves in their own self-made cocoon in order to survive. I hope that all survivors become butterflies, and find the strength to show their beautiful selves to the world too. And then I hope that the next generation never has to become a butterfly, because I hope that this never happens to another child again.

– Butterfly

Comment by butterflysblog

I love your site. Keep it up !

Comment by knowledgetoday

Just sitting here reading your intro to my husband and a couple of your posts. Amen sister!!! His words, “GOOD POINT”

Comment by vickiinaz

I don’t know you, you don’t know me. I know almost nothing about you. But Holy Shit you are an amazing person. Just know that you’re awesome for coming through that shit sane.

Plus you are a great writer, the material is fucked up, but you come through strong and defiant.

Thank you!

Comment by blackhawk24

Hi BlackHawk – thank you!! That is really nice of you to say!

– Butterfly

Comment by butterflysblog

Hi Butterfly,

I just wanted to drop you a line and say that I so very much appreciate and admire your blog. I found it through Fugitivus and have spent the last week or so reading through as much of it as I could.

The concept is outstanding–I love both the fact that all your posts are *reasons* in and of themselves and that you’ve explained the parallels between the word “fuck” and incest/sexual abuse. I just think it’s brilliant the way you’ve presented your experiences and shared them with us, and I’m thankful to have the opportunity to read this.

I’m sorry you went through the things you did, but I’m glad you survived to bring your message to light.

With warm regards,

Comment by blackswan30

Hi BlackSwan – Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it so much. – Butterfly

Comment by butterflysblog

I’ve been reading through this blog over the last week, and it’s been really educational. My mom was a survivor of child abuse, and she did everything in her power to ensure that I wouldn’t have to suffer as she did.

Recently, I’ve been trying to understand as much as I can about living with child abuse, perhaps so I can better understand what she went through. She suffered from a number of the symptoms you deal with every day, such as your fear of the dark and PTSD.

Anyway, you’re totally going on my blogroll. In fact, you’re the first entry on it! Your blog is fantastic. It’s really well-written, and you are an amazingly insightful person.

I only wish my mother could have had the opportunity to read your blog and relate to your words. I think she would have loved you.

Comment by hushlittlebabybook

I am so sorry that your mom passed, and I think that posting her book online is a beautiful way to honor her.

Comment by butterflysblog

An amazing blog, and you are a truly amazing person. If you would lik to follow my blog, well our blo, I am a multiple I have did and am an abuse survivor the blog is
Many of us

Comment by starclub1

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