Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids

Reason #163: We Are All Walking Miracles

I once went to a survivors conference, and after a day or two of hearing about all the horrible things that were done to us and the horrible things that were probably going to happen to us as a result (like not trusting people, never really getting a good night’s sleep, etc.), one survivor stood up and said “You know, really, we are all walking miracles.  It’s a miracle we are all alive and survived what we did.”

She is right, really.  We are all walking miracles.  All the survivors I have ever known – when I think about the shit they survived – they  and I are all walking miracles.

It is miraculous that I didn’t kill myself, given my inclinations to do so at certain points in my life.  It is miraculous that I managed to trust someone enough to get married, especially since men scared the crap out of me.  And the biggest miracle – getting over my fear of sex long enough to conceive a child.  My biggest blessing and miracle in this lifetime. 

Frankly, every day that I get up and face the day even though I am overwhelmingly afraid of what the day might bring – this, too, is my small daily miracle.

Unfortunately, this is life in the face of miracles. Of course it is a miracle that we survived the abuse and survived ourselves afterwards.  But this is what a miracle looks like.  It is us alive, but not trusting.  Awake but afraid.  Asleep but afraid.  Not just on alert all the time, on high alert all the time.  Never fully experiencing the wonders and joys of life, because we know for sure the horrors of intimate human betrayal in the worst of ways.  It is writing this blog post while getting up three times to check three different door locks. This is life in the face of miracles.

That is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.  No one should be a walking miracle for this reason anymore.

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