Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #299: Second Hand White Baby Grand

Do you guys ever watch that show Smash? I love it. I was listening to the music from that show the other day, and the song “Second Hand White Baby Grand” was playing.

The song is all about how this mother and daughter buy a piano second-hand, but even though it is damaged and broken, it still plays beautiful music. I found myself thinking: I hope someone feels this way about me some time.  I hope someone sees that even though I am damaged and broken, I am still a good person.

Here’s the youtube link to the song, and the lyrics are below.

Second Hand White Baby Grand

My mother bought it second hand from a silent movie star
It was out of tune, but still I learned to play
And with each note we both would smile, forgetting who we are
And all the pain would simply fly away

Something second hand and broken still can make a pretty sound
Even if it doesn’t have a place to live
Oh, the words were left unspoken when my mama came around
But that second hand white baby grand still had something beautiful to give

Through missing keys and broken strings, the music was our own
Until the day we said our last goodbyes
The baby grand was sent away, a child all alone
To pray somebody else would realize

That something second hand and broken still can make a pretty sound
Even if it doesn’t have a place to live
Oh, the words are still unspoken now that Mama’s not around
But that second hand white baby grand still has something beautiful to give

For many years the music had to roam
Until we found a way to find a home

So now I wake up everyday and see her standing there
Just waiting for a partner to compose
And I wish my mother still could hear that sound beyond compare
I’ll play her song ’til everybody knows

That something second hand and broken still can make a pretty sound
Don’t we all deserve a family, room to live?
Oh, the words can’t stay unspoken until everyone has found
Their second-hand white baby grand that still has something beautiful to give

I still have something beautiful to give



Reason #292: Who’s Gonna Love You Now?

I was watching Glee tonight, and in this episode Coach Bieste made the wonderful decision to leave her abusive husband. In classic abuser fashion, he said “Who’s gonna love you now?”. ¬†After a slight pause, she reflected on his question, and said “ME.”

The whole thing made me think about my situation. One of the questions I have always wrestled with is feeling like damaged goods. Now that I am getting divorced, I have asked many times “Who would ever want me?” I think it’s a natural question to ask in a divorce situation, and also a natural thing to ponder when you have survived child sexual abuse and incest.

It would be really cool if I learned to love myself.




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