Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids


Reason #158: Secret secrets are no fun

Do you watch “The Office”?  There was this episode where the main character Michael asked a stripper whether he should tell his girlfriend that the stripper gave him a lap dance.  Here’s what the stripper said:

“Secret secrets are no fun.  Secret secrets hurt someone.”

I hate secrets.  All of incest and child sexual abuse  is an enormous secret that we are walking around with, and if it were out in the open, the majority of it would disappear.  No one would fuck their daughter if the whole community knew about it, because it’s wrong.  No one’s kid would get fucked in the rectory of a church by a priest if it were not a secret. Because priests know it’s wrong, and daddies know it’s wrong, and the whole fucking community knows it’s wrong.  But they all get away with this shit because they have power over children.  And one of those powers is the ability to make the child keep it a secret.  And then we carry this secret forever.  And, if you’re like me, you grow up fucking hating secrets, because you know good and damn well that secrets are all about truly shitty things that you can’t tell anyone about. 

The huz and I were in our marital counseling session yesterday, and we were discussing the fact that I like to tell my family and friends everything that happens in our marriage.  This is because I hate secrets.  If everyone were openly discussing their sex lives, I bet we’d find more couples like us who aren’t fucking each other.  Unfortunately though, sex stuff brings up a lot of feelings for people, as does sex abuse stuff, which is why people keep it a secret.

The marriage counselor said something yesterday though.  She said, “Keeping things within a marriage is not like keeping a secret.  If you were keeping a secret from each other, that’d be a secret.  But sometimes we keep things inside a marriage because we know that the other person is uncomfortable letting it outside the marriage.”

That gave me pause for thought.  I equate secrets with child sex abuse.  But I keep forgetting one really important thing: I was a child then.  A secret was forced on me. I am an adult now, and as an adult, I have a choice whether to keep something inside my marriage out of respect for my husband.  I didn’t have a choice when I was a child.  I forget that a lot.  This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.




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